In our life, we have all been through various situations. We experience different emotions almost all the time. One of them is ‘Insecurity’.
Yes, we all feel insecure and trust me when I say this, there is nothing wrong in feeling insecure. We often connect the feeling of insecurity with trust. Well, if your partner is going through this feeling of insecurity, there is probably something that has to be fixed in your relationship. Insecurity is not only because of lack of trust, but it could also be because of past experiences, because of family relationships or their childhood. There can be any reason for it which has nothing to do with trust.
If you feel insecure, you need to know that it is okay and it is a completely valid emotion, however, you do need to understand yourself and ask yourself what is the reason, what is it that makes you feel insecure?
There is not any perfect explanation for insecurities. Mostly, these insecurities, they relate either directly or indirectly to relationships. So, I would like to focus more on the insecurities in a relationship. When I say relationship, it could be a romantic relationship, family relationship or a simple friendship.
Sometimes, these insecurities could come up because you feel that you are not good enough or maybe your past relationships, breakups made you feel like you are not good enough. However, it is you are judging yourself, not others. Self-doubt If you keep judging yourself if you keep comparing yourself with others, these insecurities, lack of trust, it will not take long to ruin your relationships.
My suggestions to deal with your insecurities consists of a few steps. Firstly, as I said, ask yourself what makes you feel insecure. Find out the reasons, the things that make you feel insecure. Write them down. Accept them and try to find ways to overcome them. Try to find out or think about how you can fix them. Make sure to be aware when you feel insecure and try to think if someone is making you feel insecure or if it is just self-doubt or if it one of the reasons that usually makes you feel that way. It could be maybe your past and all you can do in that case is accept it and let it go. You have no control over your past, but you do have a choice to accept it and let it go. If you keep holding on it, it will just cause destruction, nothing more.
Instead, the only things you should hold on to, from the past, are the lessons you learned throughout this past journey.
Secondly, if you are in a relationship, be completely honest, transparent with your partner about it. Tell him why, what, when and how things make you feel the way you feel. What are the things that are holding you back from trusting anyone and making you judge yourself, your decisions, your actions or the people around you? Try to stay calm and just say what you feel at any point even if you have to repeat it a hundred times.
Thirdly, you could ask your partner/ your close friends/ your parents, just someone you trust and are comfortable with to help you fix it. Just speak your heart out, believe me talking to someone about it could be a really good practice to organize and understand your thoughts and feelings. Knowing that there is someone who is by your side, who understands you and who would help you deal with it in a much better way than you do it alone, it could make a significant difference.
Also, a message for you if your partner is the one who feels insecure:
Do not give up on him/her just because of the insecurities instead, stick by their side and show them that you are there for them and that together everything is possible. Take care of them. Make sure that you are not the one who is making them insecure. Accept them with all the insecurities and love them unconditionally because I believe, the people who suffer from insecurity do know how to not make someone else feel insecure because of their actions.
If you need someone to talk to or want me to write about any particular topic, you may contact me via Instagram @__kiaarraa__.