BLOGS

Don’t hurt because you’re hurt 💔

Just because someone hurt you, doesn’t give you the licence to hurt others

Well, I don’t understand why sometimes people who have been hurt feel like because they were hurt or rather because someone hurt them, now they have the right to just go and hurt someone else. When you ask them why, they’d say “You don’t know about my past. You have no idea what I’ve been through.” Well you’re right. I definitely have no idea what you’ve been through but you have. If you do the same to someone else, you know the pain they’ll be going through and this time the reason would be you.
I don’t see a reason behind why would you want to make someone go through the same hell that you yourself, once went through and never want to go back to again.
I understand that you have been hurt but does not mean that you have the permission to hurt someone else, some innocent who just purely and deeply is in love with you.
Give yourself another chance.
Don’t ruin your future choices based on your past decisions.
Everyone makes mistakes but don’t let it define yourself.

BLOGS, QUOTES

Because it makes you cry, doesn’t mean it hurts 🌵

Don’t let your tears misguide you

READ THE CAPTION 👇🏻

Yes, it hurts. Yes, it makes you cry. But do you let those tears tell you how valuable the person is in your life?
Because someone can make you cry doesn’t mean they affect you as much as you think they do. Sometimes you are just filled up with those tears from different situations and then at one point even the smallest thing can trigger it and make you cry.
For example, you’re in a happy happy relationship. Somehow out of nowhere, your ex, who once had the power to make you the happiness or hurt you the most, comes up to you and you have tears in your eyes.
There are many ways you can interpret it:
1) The hurt isn’t yet healed and as soon as you see him, it reminds you of it
2) Maybe he still affects you and still has the power to hurt you
3) Have I moved on yet? Do I still feel for him? Why do I bother with his existence?

The truth is, yes he probably still affects you, however, not because you still feel for him. He still affects you because once upon a time, he affected you the most.
Yes, you have moved on, moving on doesn’t mean that all your hurt has been healed.
Give it time.
Give yourself time, as much as you need.
Give your partner time if he/she is the one who is hurt.
Give them time to heal themselves and let them heal.
Don’t keep reminding them of what they’ve been through or asking him them about it.
There will come a time when they feel strong enough and comfortable enough to share it all with you.
At that point it would be way easier for them then when you ask because maybe they haven’t been healed yet and the wound might still be fresh.
It might make them cry and they might think about those tears might misguide them in many different ways.

Remember: Tears aren’t just always because of the person or situation or time, sometimes it’s a buildup of past events and finally can shed in the most unexpected moments.
Focus on how you feel not how you feel you might feel.

BLOGS

Put your past behind you 🍂

Don’t let your past relations, define your future actions.

READ THE CAPTION 👇🏻

Sometimes we tend to give importance to something that happened in past, or something that has been happening in past and start thinking that it’ll keep happening. We focus so much on the hurt from past that we stop focusing on why it happened.

We start judging other people’s actions on the basis of what we’ve seen so far. Sometimes we assume and sometimes just because we think that this relationship will be ruined to just like the past ones, we think, “huh, before he hurts me I’ll push him/her away so that they can’t hurt me anymore”

We choose to run away as defence mechanism which isn’t the right thing to do.
It isn’t important to focus on what happened, it already did and you can’t change it so let it go. However, the important thing is why it happened and how can you fix it.
You can either run away from your past or learn from it. To be able to learn from it, the first thing you need to do is accept that it happened.
Think about it!
And if you choose to run away from it, remember that you can’t be running from it forever.

Eventually you’ll get tired and have to stop and face it some day so, why not face it now?

BLOGS

Be the good one for a change 🌸

Maybe it’s time to become the person you’ve been waiting for

We always wait for the perfect one. We try to find out that one person who understands us, trusts us, respects us, cares for us and loves us unconditionally. In this journey we forget that maybe there isn’t just us who is looking for someone. Maybe instead of looking for someone we should try to be that someone, that’s someone who is the perfect one. Maybe then we’ll find our someone special sooner than we could’ve imagined. Maybe after being the someone you been looking for, someone else’s wait will end and “I’m looking for my someone special” will turn into “I found my special one in you”.

BLOGS

INSECURITY

In our life, we have all been through various situations. We experience different emotions almost all the time. One of them is ‘Insecurity’.

Yes, we all feel insecure and trust me when I say this, there is nothing wrong in feeling insecure. We often connect the feeling of insecurity with trust. Well, if your partner is going through this feeling of insecurity, there is probably something that has to be fixed in your relationship. Insecurity is not only because of lack of trust, but it could also be because of past experiences, because of family relationships or their childhood. There can be any reason for it which has nothing to do with trust.

If you feel insecure, you need to know that it is okay and it is a completely valid emotion, however, you do need to understand yourself and ask yourself what is the reason, what is it that makes you feel insecure?

10 strong and powerful quotes that will motivate you to do just ...

There is not any perfect explanation for insecurities. Mostly, these insecurities, they relate either directly or indirectly to relationships. So, I would like to focus more on the insecurities in a relationship. When I say relationship, it could be a romantic relationship, family relationship or a simple friendship.

Sometimes, these insecurities could come up because you feel that you are not good enough or maybe your past relationships, breakups made you feel like you are not good enough. However, it is you are judging yourself, not others. Self-doubt If you keep judging yourself if you keep comparing yourself with others, these insecurities, lack of trust, it will not take long to ruin your relationships.

My suggestions to deal with your insecurities consists of a few steps. Firstly, as I said, ask yourself what makes you feel insecure. Find out the reasons, the things that make you feel insecure. Write them down. Accept them and try to find ways to overcome them. Try to find out or think about how you can fix them. Make sure to be aware when you feel insecure and try to think if someone is making you feel insecure or if it is just self-doubt or if it one of the reasons that usually makes you feel that way. It could be maybe your past and all you can do in that case is accept it and let it go. You have no control over your past, but you do have a choice to accept it and let it go. If you keep holding on it, it will just cause destruction, nothing more.

Instead, the only things you should hold on to, from the past, are the lessons you learned throughout this past journey.

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Secondly, if you are in a relationship, be completely honest, transparent with your partner about it. Tell him why, what, when and how things make you feel the way you feel. What are the things that are holding you back from trusting anyone and making you judge yourself, your decisions, your actions or the people around you? Try to stay calm and just say what you feel at any point even if you have to repeat it a hundred times.

Thirdly, you could ask your partner/ your close friends/ your parents, just someone you trust and are comfortable with to help you fix it. Just speak your heart out, believe me talking to someone about it could be a really good practice to organize and understand your thoughts and feelings. Knowing that there is someone who is by your side, who understands you and who would help you deal with it in a much better way than you do it alone, it could make a significant difference.

Also, a message for you if your partner is the one who feels insecure:
Do not give up on him/her just because of the insecurities instead, stick by their side and show them that you are there for them and that together everything is possible. Take care of them. Make sure that you are not the one who is making them insecure.       Accept them with all the insecurities and love them unconditionally because I believe, the people who suffer from insecurity do know how to not make someone else feel insecure because of their actions.

–  KIARA


If you need someone to talk to or want me to write about any particular topic, you may contact me via Instagram @__kiaarraa__.

BLOGS

CAN I REALLY NOT?

I was just wondering about what the next blog should focus on. So I thought why can’t I pick up some random abstract noun, talk about it and express all I want. The first word that popped up on the list was “ABILITY.”

The first thing that hit my mind was, what can I write about ability? It simply means the capability of doing something. We associate the words like “can” when we want to talk about our ability, our capability. However, when I started thinking deeply, I realized that more than the word ‘CAN’, we use the negative form of it which is ‘Can’t or Cannot.’

You must have heard the beautiful sentence which is generally used by lovers as a romantic statement and people really love listening to it too, because they feel special. The statement is “I cannot live without YOU.” Can you really not? Anyway jokes apart. When a guy said this to me for the first time, it scared me. Are you wondering why? because girls normally like it.

Yes, that’s true. We always want to be loved and I am not different, but I never wanted anybody to get dependent on me for his or her happiness. Everybody likes to be loved but when I ask you, “Are you ready to love?”, it is probably going to freak you out. Why? Because we have fear to be rejected, ditched (left) or hurt.

Whenever I asked my best friend, “Why do you run away from love?” He always said that he did not like love and I wondered why and how can somebody be crazy enough to not like this emotion. I kept on asking him for the reason and finally one day, because of my stupid and repetitive never-ending questions he said “PAST.” The word ‘Past’ was enough.

I did not say anything. I did not. But does it mean I could not? No. In fact I could have and I should had but I thought ‘I can not’ and that stopped me. What came to my mind was, how can I ask him to forget his past when I know that if I were him, I couldn’t have. I either underestimated him or myself.

Wait, but did I try? Probably not. Because everybody says “It is difficult to forget your past”, even I assumed I can not. Until I try how can I be sure if I can or if I can not? Some optimistic person who truly believed in himself said that nothing is impossible because the word itself says “I’m possible.”

ability1.jpg

Guess what, we always read it just the way he did but what made it different was the way he looked at it. Sometimes all we need to do is change the way we look at it.

To conclude I would just say that it is not always about our ability, sometimes all it takes is the belief that you ‘can’ do it. Also if you ever feel like, “No, I can’t do it.” just ask yourself once, “Can I really not?.” Giving yourself a chance is important but giving yourself ANOTHER chance is what we need to work on.

– KIARA

 

BLOGS

WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT, FRIENDSHIP OR RELATIONSHIP?

insta

I came across this picture and the post said “Affairs are the reasons why being in relationships becomes so boring.”
There are different ways in which I can react to it.

  1. The instant reaction would definitely be that “Look he is cheating on her.”
  2. Maybe This Photo tells you that how beautifully he’s playing the role of both A LOVER and A BESTFRIEND.

Generally, when we get into a relationship, we intentionally or unintentionally start ignoring them or giving them less time then what we used to. Sometimes it is because it starts affecting our love life and sometimes attention starts dividing.

Yes, I know it is very difficult to be a lover and a best friend, both at the same time but is it also difficult if you try to just be transparent in front of them. Just tell them and they will understand. Do not chose to lie or ignore one of them for the other one.

Honesty can solve almost all your problems and understanding can help you build strong relations, be it friendship or relationship. Show them that they’re both EQUALLY IMPORTANT to you 😁

–  KIARA

BLOGS

Life: A four letter word with a thousand different meanings.

We are all different.
When I say we are different, I meant we are unique in our own way.
But what makes us different?
Our beliefs, our values, our situations and our attitude towards life,
that’s what makes us different.
In our life we experiences various emotions and come across different situations,
which is why our definition of life keeps on changing and
it differs from person to person.

Continue reading “Life: A four letter word with a thousand different meanings.”